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Jan

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Many of the origins are now lost in the mists of time, but here are some of the terms you may see used around at ka-Bloom:

PEFIC

Pervy Elf Fanciers In Charge

Explained elsewhere, but bears repeating. The term Mod Squad is used in so many places, and we wanted to be different. And that's a good thing.

The Gutter

Pretty self-explanatory, but I will expand: Around the time of the release of TTT, Spidur was involved in a chat wherein people were jockeying for the title of Shieldmaiden (of Rohan or wherever). She came up with the term "Guttermaiden", as it described her to a T (except, perhaps, for the 'maiden' part; but I digress). Also, see "Gutterelf" and "Gutterhobbit", below.

The Bad Place (TBP)

Best described by saying we started off To Hell In A Handbasket, but there were too many of us, so we had to take The Bus to The Bad Place. It kinda showballed from there. Some of the rooms in The Bad Place: Dom's Domination Dungeon, The Bad Place Quickie Mart and Gift Shop (run on occasion by the Gutterhobbit; see below), the Roman Baths (with Orlando in a toga, natch), and many others that I can't remember right now, but we're in a constant state of adding/remodeling anyway.

PUWF

Pervy Underage Wizard Fanciers

Followers of Harry Potter/Daniel Radcliffe, but can also include Ron Weasley/Rupert Grint or Tom Felton/Draco Malfoy.

Best-known follower here: Sandyclaws. Ranks have grown since the release of HP&POA.

BNIALW

But Not In A Lesbian Way

Usage: :wave: (BNIALW)

Often followed closely by

NTTAWTT

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

Self-explanatory. Freely borrowed from Seinfeld.

TOTALLY STONKING

....what Tony Thorne described in his Dictionary of Contemporary Slang as “an all-purpose intensifying adjective”.

Used when, frankly, no other word will do. I also remember reading somewhere that it referred to a rather impressive specimin of the male anatomy, but cannot find the link. Sorry.

Plotz (verb) Yiddish:

Fall down dead right now.

Usage: "Oy, after all that shopping I'm about to plotz" Or "Ham and cheese sandwiches? If your grandfather weren't already dead, he'd plotz."

EIC

Enabler-in-Chief

Honorary title to be bestowed on Gutter members who have brought enabling (via picture links, actual pictures, dirty thoughts, etc.) to a whole new level.

CEOK

Close Encounter of the Orlando Kind

Self-explanatory.

KBOKB

Kissed-By-Orlando ka-Bloomie

Again, self-explanatory.

403F

Coined one day when, following a link, on a particularly hormone-induced wild day, Spidur was presented with a "403F Error". Has since become the code word for naughty content. Or thoughts.

Naturally led to "403F Violation" and the "403F Patrol".

Often heard in The Bad Place (all self-explanatory):

"I've lost my ovaries"

"I've lost my uterus"

"I've lost all my junk in the trunk" (©Bucky)

URK!

GAH!

Great Googly Moogly!

Camaro

Used to describe the obviously souped-up, revved-up, hand-washed and waxed member of the male;

Usage: Hey, baby, want to park that Camaro in my garage?

Ka-Blaaam! (Which led to the domain name Ka-Bloom!*):

:!!:

...those are someone's (sometimes everyone's) ovaries exploding. Goes with the territory.

Boy-Touching

Also, self-explanatory. Refers to two boys, not a boy and girl, BTW.

BOB

Battery-Operated Boyfriend. Usually accompanied by Costco-size supply of batteries.

SAB

Sharing A Brain

What happens when more than one ka-Bloomie has the same response to a post/picture/whatever (and it's often the same naughty thought) - and it's then a race to see who posts it first. Frequently happens to what one thinks is an Original Thought. <snort> This phenomenon occurs more frequently when one is Admin or a Moderator. :paperbag:

YSR!

You So Rock!

YSFR! - Attributed to Spidur, with (drunken) help from usHHfan

See above, and figure out the rest for yourself. :wink:

Suit!Slut - Attributed to Spidur.

Connoiseur of nicely-attired men. Tie is optional. Full suit with dress shoes required. Tux increases plotz magnitude.

Daily Orlando Moment of Zen - Attributed to Jan, with inspiration from Jon Stewart.

Wherein the Zen Mastah submits pictures of Orlando in order to evoke a particular Zen-like mood, or to help others reach Nirvana (they are, on occasion, mutually exclusive).

Zen Mastah - Attributed to Jan, a position currently held by our own little_green.

ManBar™ - Attributed to Jeanne

Wherein a film has such an array of delectable delights it is impossible to choose just one main course; therefore, a taste of each selection is called for. For instance, Troy is the quintessential ManBar™: Orlando, Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Sean Bean...need I go on?

DanglyBits™ - Attributed to Jan

The array of charm-loaded necklaces that Orlando wears, which seems to grow daily.

The Nuzzle Zone - Attributed to Geri

The area between Orlando's chin and chest. Its best showings have arguably been at the Press Junket for Pirates in Los Angeles, July 2003. Can you say V-neck?

POTC353_550.jpg

Come to think of it, this is also an excellent example of his Dangly Bits™. The necklaces, you ninny!

Paris!Tail - Attributed to Jan.

What apparently passed for a ponytail in Trojan times. We don't really care if it's historically accurate. It's on HIS head, which is all that really matters.

The O Strip

Y'know, when you're driving along the highway and accidentally veer off onto the shoulder (or take the Exit too soon), and you hit what highway departments refer to as the rumble strip? Meant to wake you up if you're getting drowsy?

OStrip.jpg

Well, during the PEFIC Troy Moot, Geri was driving along, we were yakking...and she drifted off onto the shoulder for a couple of seconds. She turned back onto the highway, and the Guttermaiden in me couldn't help it: "Could you go back on the shoulder - I was beginning to enjoy it." It's now known as The O Strip™. :!!:

Also a mixed drink developed over the weekend in Louisville for the Kentucky premiere of Elizabethtown. Ginger Ale, Vodka and a twist. Hey, it was all Geri had in the liquor cabinet.

DYC - Attributed to Jan :censor:

If you don't know this by now - WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN?!? DYC stands for Damn Yellow Cap - that indescribable yellow trucker's cap for which Orlando has such lasting affection. There's a whole Forum dedicated to the damn thing here. And here are pictures of him wearing the damn thing.

DYC, v.1.0

Pavement_1202_06_550.jpg

DYC, v2.0

Etown_dyc_07tag.jpg

Haven_TIFF_Prem3386692.jpg

Guttersecond

The second-shortest (after a New York second - the length of time required for a light to turn green and the cab driver behind you to honk his/her horn) unit of time in the known universe, defined as the amount of time that elapses between someone saying the words "Orlando" and "Bloom", or "Craig" and "Parker" (in an entirely serious context) in a chat, and the conversation degenerating into shameless NC-17-rated gushing. (Substitute any other oft-gushed actor if you're not into Elves. :D )

Snarkosecond

Not quite TBP-related, but worth mentioning, this one is the time that passes between either Alice Evans (for those not in the know, Ioan Gruffudd's gf) wearing something R-rated or Martha Stewart doing anything typically Martha Stewartish, and the Ka-Bloomers engaging in gratuitous snarkage.

Oh, and if you're wondering if what you're reading may be dirty? It probably is. :heart:

We will add terms as they become available.

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The Bad Place (TBP)

Best described by saying we started off To Hell In A Handbasket, but there were too many of us, so we had to take The Bus to The Bad Place.  It kinda showballed from there.  Some of the rooms in The Bad Place:  Dom's Domination Dungeon, The Bad Place Quickie Mart and Gift Shop (run on occasion by the Gutterhobbit; see below), the Roman Baths (with Orlando in a toga, natch), and many others that I can't remember right now, but we're in a constant state of adding/remodeling anyway.

Take a stroll down memory lane at the now infamous Men Du Jour thread started by the beloved Bucky on February 7, 2003, in which Spidur starts the 403F phenomenon (on page 9) and we all start hanging out in The Bad Place , Horatian style (on page 10), after freely nicking the term from a certain faction of the Harry Potter fandom and using it for our own evil devices. Much devilry continued at another infamous post, aptly named The Bad Place, started by Jan herself.

I've cried all over again, I have. :notworthy: you PEFIC! BNIALW. NTTAWTT!

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I've cried all over again, I have.

Oh me too!

I was thinking this morning, who is the bus driver? Mad Dog? She is stationed there permanently though, isn't she? She's like the Head Honcho over Hell, or something like that. Have to find someone else. I do well with a clipboard and ordering people around, so I guess that makes me the Tour Guide. Oh, I can just hear me now........

"Welcome to Hell, Bad Place Station, ladies, watch your step now! Tricky landing there off the bottom. Line up over here to my right now, yes, thank you, thank you.let's see.the Guest List reads.

.....Spidur? Check. I see here that you are scheduled for the Orlando Anglo-Cowboy Orgasmic Outback Orgy. Oh, you are going to love the rustic feel of it! The ropes, the rough wool blanket! See the hands at the stable for your horse. And yes, you can leave your boots on.

.....Jan? So good to see you again, hon! Trying something different in the nautical world this time, eh? The You Play Master and I'll Obey Your Commands package is located on level two at pool side. Oh, silly me, I forgot! We don't have a pool in Hell! Well, water or not, the ship looks pretty cool. You'll be staying in the Captain's Cabin of course. Watch out for the table however. I hear splinters are common.

.....Shellbell? Check. Glad to have you with us. Hope you enjoy the intellectually and otherwise stimulating Smoldering Sam Shakespearen Slam. Whew! This one smokes! But don't fret. It does get really hot down here in all that Elizabethan dress-up, but apparently they don't keep it on for long.

.....Bucky? Ah yes, a Gold Package subscriber. A cart will be by soon to transport you down to the Vestal Virgin* Altar to Viggo's Virility. Sacrifices start at 8:00 PM sharp. *Virginity optional, of course.

Ladies, I hope you enjoy your stay in the Bad Place, our cozy little estrogen-laden corner of Hell. Please remember to carry your tour identification card with you at all times, and your drool buckets. In your rooms you should find everything you need, including internet hookup! For technical assistance in that area, contact our dear wend in the Golden Mine Pits of Fiery Slashy Flame. Dial #69 on your room phone to reach her.

Oh, and if anyone would like to speak to the Manager, please see me for an appointment. She is quite busy and no one is allowed in the Radcliffe Rack of Damn-I'm-Old-Enough-To-Be-His-Mother Torture unless accompanied by a staff member (or a WB studio PR rep in charge of HP "They are HOW old?" Conspiracy)."

::sniff:: Must return to the Bad Place for some more activities. I may need to resurrect the 101 Ways to Make Elves Dirty seminar.

And I still LMAO at the Golden Mine Pits of Fiery Slashy Flame!!! :notworthy:

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:lmao:

Perfect time to use new LMAO emoticon...

Ahh, and I remember the seminar I gave:

How To Keep Your Elf Satisfied Forever - Remember, They Live Forever

God, that was an extremely wild few days. I'm surprised the GNP didn't go down the toilet from that - none of us got any work done, that's for sure.

Thanks, Ginger. :notworthy:

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Good times girls.good times indeed. :punk::notworthy: :lmao:

The more things change, the more they stay the same. :punk:

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Oh my gawd!!!!! :lmao: :lmao:

Those were some great posts, weren't they? I don't think I got a whole lot of work done while visiting The Bad Place.

:rolleyes:

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Not always Gutterish...but an acronym is becoming necessary:

SAB

Sharing A Brain :rolleyes:

What happens when more than one ka-Bloomer has the same response to a post/picture/whatever (and it's often the same naughty thought) - and it's then a race to see who posts it first. Frequently happens to what one thinks is an Original Thought. <snort>

This phenomenon occurs more frequently when one is Admin or a Moderator. :paperbag:

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I thought it was time to gather some now-iconic phrases that were, we claim, originated at ka-Bloom. Included is the originator (as best we can tell).

Suit!Slut™ - Attributed to Spidur.

Connoiseur of nicely-attired men. Tie is optional. Best examples of what will set a Suit!Slut's™ heart aflame:

ROTK_LA_Getty1194.jpg

Troy_Cannes_Carpet_Getty50834751.jpg

Daily Orlando Moment of Zen™ - Attributed to Jan, with inspiration from Jon Stewart.

Wherein the Zeh Mastah submits pictures of Orlando in order to evoke a particular Zen-like mood, or to help others reach Nirvana (they are, on occasion, mutually exclusive).

Zen Mastah™ - Attributed to Jan, with inspiration by Kittykat.

This would be Jan.

ManBar™ - Attributed to Jeanne

Wherein a film has such an array of delectable delights it is impossible to choose just one main course; therefore, a taste of each selection is called for. For instance, Troy is the quintessential ManBar: Orlando, Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Sean Bean...need I go on?

Dangly Bits™ - Attributed to Jan

The array of charm-loaded necklaces that Orlando wears, which seems to grow daily.

As of May 2004:

DanglyBits.jpg

The Nuzzle Zone™ - Attributed to HopelessRomantic

The area between Orlando's chin and chest. Long. Smooth. Thoroughly nuzzle-worthy.

Its best showings have arguably been at the Press Junket for Pirates in Los Angeles, July 2003...

POTC353_550.jpg

...as well as the Junket for The Return of the King in Los Angeles, December 2003.

ROTK_PC_LA_USAT07.jpg

Come to think of it, those are also excellent examples of his Dangly Bits™.

Paris!Tail™ - Attributed to Jan

What apparently passed for a ponytail in Trojan times. We don't really care if it's historically accurate. It's on HIS head, which is all that really matters.

Troy_Prod13_550.jpg

Edited by Jan

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An update:

The O Strip™

Y'know, when you're driving along the highway and accidentally veer off onto the shoulder (or take the Exit too soon), and you hit what highway departments refer to as the rumble strip? Meant to wake you up if you're getting drowsy?

OStrip.jpg

Well, during the PEFIC Troy Moot, HR was driving along, we were yakking...and she drifted off onto the shoulder for a couple of seconds. She turned back onto the highway, and the Guttermaiden in me couldn't help it: "Could you go back on the shoulder - I was beginning to enjoy it." It's now known as The O Strip™. :naughty:

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Added to the Lexicon - obviously, it's a growing, living, breathing, uh, thing:

CEOK

Close Encounter of the Orlando Kind

Self-explanatory.

KBOKB

Kissed-By-Orlando ka-Bloomie

Again, self-explanatory.

YSR!

You So Rock!

YSFR! - Attributed to Spidur, with (drunken) help from usHHfan

See above, and figure out the rest for yourself. :wink:

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Another addition:

PTOD

Post-Traumatic Orlando Disorder. Symptoms may include jelly legs and noodle brain, usually suffered after a CEOK.

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